Why are sisters around me mentally breaking down?
Our mums learned the hard way and taught us that this was a man’s world, ans in order to make it, we had to become one.
We had to fight, to defend ourselves to have a place in this world.
We had to show the world that we could do it all and be it all.
We had to be as good as men, so we became one.
We learned to achieve and to excel at everything.
All around me, I have this picture of women who have it all and who are striving. They are striving, they are leaders of their profession, they are multi achievers. They have climbed the professional ladder step by step, after earning multiple diploma.
When they are self employed, they usually strive to be the best in their industry.
They have families, partners, children.
They are making their families and their mothers pride.
See mom, I am doing this. I made it.
I am living the dream you had for me. I am a mom, I have money in the bank.
I am fighting and I am winning.
I am independent. Yes, I won my independence from men.
I am one of the guys now. Respected, listened to. I made my way.
I am independent
But am I free?
Why is it that I don’t feel fulfilled?
Why do I feel like something is missing?
Why do I feel like I am missing a piece of myself?
Why is my hair falling of?
My is my skin breaking out?
Why does my breath suddenly hitches?
Why is my throat beginning to itch?
Why can’t I hear the message?
Why can’t I hear myself?
Why can’t I see myself?
Where am I?
Who am I?
I am woman
I am wife
I am mum
I am daughter
I am sister
I am friend
Yes, of course.
But who am I?
Can we really do it all and be it all?
Where does that idea come from anyway?
Do I really want to be it all?
Do I really want to do it all?
Why is it important for me to show people how strong I am?
What about when I am not strong?
Why would I be considered less because I am not all?
Am I weak because I just want to stay home and sleep when I am on my period?
Am I weak because frankly, some days I want to stay in bed and let my husband do it all?
Am I weak or lazy because I am seldom the cooking for my kids?
Am I weak because I barely know how to take care of those kids that I have?
Am I weak because I don’t want more responsibilities at work or at home?
Am I weak because I don’t want kids?
Am I weak because I am happy where I am and just want to enjoy this moment?
Am I weak because I do not want more?
Am I weak because I want to stop running?
Am I weak because I want to stop fighting?
Am I weak because I want to stop doing?
Am I weak because I just …am?
Can I make it in this world if I just stop doing and I just be?
I just want to be
I just want to breathe
I just want to feel
I am not working
I am creating
I am not doing
I am being
I am not saying
I am listenning
I am not making it
I am living
I am not giving
I am receiving
I am not screaming
I am whispering
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